This is not an agony aunt page, this is the bare truth you should know, whist being in a relationship with a firefighter.
It will not be a surprise to anyone that relationships frequently break down under the pressure of jobs involving unpredictable shifts or long hours.
Being in a relationship with a firefighter is not always an easy one! Agreeably it can be stressful, however, like all things in life we have to compromise and work at it. To some it comes naturally, but for the majority of us, we already know, it can be hard!
Ask yourself this;
Why do you want to have a relationship with a firefighter? Or, how did you get together? Is it just the uniform that got you hot under the collar and rang your bell? Or the fact that your firefighter is courageous, caring cheerful and compassionate.
There is one sure thing throughout the world – a firefighter is a rare breed! After all who goes into an incident that others are running away from? Not many!
Most traits and similarities can be found in almost all firefighters, whether they are fulltime, part time or volunteer. It’s not just the training that they have undertaken, this just helps to stimulate and organise what is already running through their veins.
Can they be compared to the eight points of the fire service badge to which they serve? Tact, gallantry, dexterity, observation, perseverance, loyalty, explicitness, sympathy – the simple answer is; YES!
You can also throw into the mix; practical.
Points to consider;
The Secret
There is a long running secret whether you would like to admit it or not; many boys after seeing a bright red fire engine with horns, sirens and flashing lights passing by want to be a firefighter. Many fathers wish they could have been a firefighter. Many women would like to meet a firefighter. Many wives or partners wish their other half was a firefighter.
The Ego
There are a few who put on a uniform and their ego goes skywards! Let’s face it how many of these have we seen, look at me I have a uniform on types. These firefighters do not represent the majority of firefighters who live a normal everyday life as a member of the community.
The Station
Of course firefighters are different on station to that at home. Don’t forget this is their family away from the family. They are very close and have to be. Working, training, sleeping, eating, joking, talking, laughing, relaxing together and most importantly relying on each other in dangerous and hazardous situations, brings together a very close knit group.
The Job
The job can be stressful, but not like all jobs, it is a job which can be hugely rewarding for those involved. What could be more rewarding than helping save a life! Not many firefighters talk too much about their work at home – incident talk, fatalities tend to stay at the station, and at the station, not too much talk unless it’s a debrief. It’s a job! It is safe to say that not all firefighters have carried a child or person from a burning building! However most have been touched by situations around them injuries and fatalities. This does remain with the firefighter forever, they may never talk about it with you, so give them time to cope with it their own way.
The Contact
Working shifts can cause a major problem in a relationship. However, mobile phones are plentiful these days and a couple of texts or a quick phone call when it is convenient will reassure you. Calls on a station phone should be kept to a minimum simply because it is the station telephone and should be available to everyone!
The Chat up
Firefighters are regularly chatted up by someone! (mostly female) – Who couldn’t resist; a hunk, a hunkess, a uniform, a great sense of humour, the list could go on! Some are tempted by the offers and in some cases, many offers. Others are happy to go along with the chat and have a laugh whilst remaining totally committed to their partner – after all everyone likes to be flattered.
The Trust
Trust is like anything you have to believe. After all when your firefighter is at the Station you do know where your firefighter is. Not out drinking and partying!
The Change
Why try to make a change! You have met your firefighter for who they are. Your firefighter will not change and will always be a firefighter. It is something you will have to walk around.
The Loneliness
Yes there will be times when you feel on your own. Shifts can be hard to cope with for anyone. However you should treasure your time away from each other too. Everyone needs some space! It’s great to pamper yourself in some way and have the time to do it. Go shopping, stay in touch with your friends, have an interest when you are not together.
The Talking
If there are problems , insecurities you are unsure, sit down and start talking. You will not stop your firefighter from doing the job they love, but you may get a better understanding of each other.
The Night Out
Occasionally there will be times when the shift, go for a beer or do something together – don’t forget this is their release which helps them stay normal. You may be invited to some occasions if not arrange to meet up afterwards.
The Love Hate
Being with a firefighter is definitely a love/hate relationship. You will hate that your firefighter is working shifts and can’t get time off for special occasions, that they are putting their life on the line for complete strangers. Surely, when you stop to think about it how proud does that make you feel? Also if they do that for strangers what will they do for you?
The Goodbye
There is a real possibility that the firefighter in your life my not return the next day! The present day job is as safe as it can be and risks are usually taken after consideration. However, risks are taken (more if a life is involved), events that happen at incidents usually occur, when trying to bring it under control. It is always nice to part on a positive loving note as your firefighter goes out the door. A hug, a kiss, I love you, miss you, take care, be careful these are not just sloppy sentimental comments . What do you want to be the last memory of being together? Do you really want your firefighter to have something bad on their mind when they should be concentrating on the job.
If you can cope with all of this, you are truly a firefighter’s partner and should be proud of what you have and your firefighter will be proud of what they have. Happiness!
